BONNIE

PHOTO BY RANDY BACON

BONNIE

“Don’t Give Up”

My name is Bonnie and I’m a survivor of human sex trafficking, severe abuse, trauma. I was born intersexed and operated on to make me as male as possible by my mother's own hands. I was fed drugs and alcohol sold into child pornography, even molested by my own mother. All my life I’ve been through homelessness and poverty.

I was 5 years old. I remember a hotel room. As I entered the room, I remember very clearly seeing several men and lots of electrical cords and lights everywhere. There were tripods setup with cameras. This is where it gets hard for me to talk about. I remember being forced to pose with a lot of other kids in different positions, in different clothing, and also remember being naked a lot. It's pretty foggy from there but I remember struggling to see past those horribly bright lights.

I am a survivor and I have lived through things most people will never imagine. I can tell you about fear. It used to control me. I always felt like I didn’t belong. When I let go of the fear, I was set free. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. I didn’t think anyone would understand what I was going through, but I’ve found more and more that when I communicate the things that happened to me, there are more people that can understand and relate than there are not. How is anyone supposed to understand if you don’t tell anyone?

To others who suffer like me: don't give up, don't let your abusers destroy you or define who you are today. It takes a lot of courage, but you can do it. Never stop fighting because life is full of pain and loss, but it also has moments of great joy, beauty, and peace. Time has a way of healing all wounds.