JEREMIAH

PHOTO BY RANDY BACON

JEREMIAH’S STORY

When I was age 17, I went through that too cool for school phase, and I moved out west, you know, trying to find myself, for a little exploration and adventure.

Then it was November 9, 2010. I was walking around the streets of downtown Olympia, WA, and I was homeless at the time. It was raining and I was getting pretty cold and was very tired. So, I went to a train tunnel to get out of the rain. I fell asleep and a train came through that night. I knew it was an active train tunnel, but never knew of a train coming through there at night. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. The train driver didn't see me and I didn't wake up in time and…that is when life happened for me. The night I woke up underneath the train.

Yeah, I remember when it happened and I jumped up thinking, "Oh my God, oh my God, what's going on?" The train had already left the tunnel and was nowhere in sight. I remember thinking, "Did I just dream this...no?" Then I looked down at my arms and they were all mangled up - it was very dramatic for me to see what kind of condition I was in.

At that second, I realized I had minutes to live - I started thinking logically and left the tunnel like a bat out of hell and ran up the road to the closest house. I broke the door down as it was 2:30 a.m., hinges hanging everywhere. I was bleeding everywhere, fearing for my life and my adrenaline took over, you know, and I remember praying for mercy, for God to spare my life at that moment. I didn't really have much of a relationship with God at the time but I just kept thinking there has got to be a higher power. And right then and there I told myself I can't make it through this world alone anymore. And, to see the love I had for myself that night, to be able to throw my 135 pound body through a door and break it off on the hinges. To have had that kind of energy still just amazes me, because I realized there was no way I was alone in that moment. As alone and scared as I was, I felt like I had a supernatural power, more angels.

Whatever it was then, being a nightmare for me, I will tell you what it is now - It really has turned into a dream come true. I woke up and realized "Hey, this life is going to throw a few curveballs at ya and you might not be able to hit them on the first swing but I ain't gonna stop swinging. Sometimes you gotta take the ball on the shoulder and that's kind of what happened that night. I was shown that this world has something to offer me. I'm not just a life of my own to have for myself, as an individual, one that is loved by God, but someone who shares that same kind of love for others. I might be a turd in most people's eyes, but to me, you know, you can sow a seed in a turd and grow a beautiful garden.

Love is the biggest part of me. I tell everyone when I leave their presence, "I love you." The only little tattoo I have on my whole body is the word "love." Love to me is what makes the world go around. It's not something' that can be taken away, It's not something that can be taken advantage of. It just is. It is just all or nothing and, that's what love is - it's everything. If I didn't have love, I don't feel like I would even be here. Who I am and how I live my life and the way I view things, well it's all surrounded by love. To me, God is love. This is the closest I can get to describing God. He is love.

The hardest thing for me being homeless isn't my disability, the absence of my limbs, but the fact of the matter is, when you are on the street, you gotta fend for yourself. There are times you are walking down the street and nobody will have your back. You know, I am up against the world, whether that means going into a restaurant to use the bathroom and trying to get your pants down or trying to clean yourself properly. Without hands and arms, it's quite hard to do. I remember back being homeless having hands and arms, on the street. I could throw my shirt off, slap on some deodorant, put another shirt on, splash some water on my face real quick, not a problem. I could be presentable in no time. But now in order for me to do all that, oh my gosh, it takes hours it seems like.

Being homeless and armless on the streets has built a lot of strength in me, and actually, in others. You know, some people walk by cursing about their day, heads down, and then they look up and see me with a smile on my face, having a happy ol' time. They will say, "Man, I thought I had it bad. I thought I was having a bad day." So, I try to remind myself to smile, especially when I see other people having a bad day. I remind them to walk a day in my shoes and see what it's like. If you think you got it so bad, just remember there's always someone else out there who has it worse than you.

My dream is unity. To see all of my bullies, teachers, challengers, competitors, elders, brothers, sisters, all my family to have peace in their lives. To share this peace with others. In the end, let there be peace, and no fear.