SHANTELL

PHOTO BY RANDY BACON

SHANTELL’S STORY

I had a child as a teen mom, worked most of my life, I always kept a job. When I turned thirty-two I got in a car wreck. When I turned thirty-four I got in another car wreck. When I turned thirty-five I got hit by a car and I just felt like I needed toslow my life down. I hadn’t took a lot of time out to enjoy life, so I quit my job, I went back home, stayed with my mom and lived with her for a year. We worked on our relationship, I hadn’t seen her or talked to her in about nine years. My son went off to college and I had a friend out here that I was gonna come out and visit, so I came out to visit and I decided to stay with her. I came out here, and her life wasn’t going as planned I guess, so I stayed in a hotel for a while, my money started running low and I ended up at the local women’s shelter. I been here for twelve days now. But it's gettin better. I got two jobs starting soon. I don't know what it is but something just draws me here. I thought about going home, but it was like I was giving up on life when I felt that way. I just couldn't do it. It was like right when I left up out of the hotel, and I got real depressed. I couldn't go home because it just didn't feel right, so I'm here.

My son is out of state in college, so I’m trying to get him to come out here but he's not really feeling it. Me and him are tight. I'm the only person he's ever known who’s gonna stick by his side. I make sure he knows that I’m here for him. But it’ll work out. We’ll see each other again soon. I don't really get homesick though, I thought I would. And I’m like so content, even with my situation being as it is. I wake up happy in the mornings and I’m not sure what it is.

I'm pretty much just like everybody else. I've gone to culinary school, I’ve always worked, I’ve been married, I have some stepkids out there, you know. I don't use drugs or anything, it's not like that, I’m just at a point in life where I felt like exploring I guess you would say. And with me exploring, I just ended up in a situation where my finances weren’t at. It just didn't work out. But I don't give up on life. Most things are materialistic, and I think this is a better way to connect with people. And when we connect with people on a more personal level, it brings you closer.

Being here, it gives me the opportunity to connect with people on a real level. I understand that they're not really wanting anything from me, cause we all in the same, you know, financial situation, it's not like anyone around me is gonna use me. And it's not like I’m gonna use them, but we gonna open up to each other and try to be as real as possible. I think it builds more meaningful relationships with people who live out in the world without stable shelter. They stick together, you can’t mess with one and not mess with everybody.

I wanna make soap. So once I get in a place where I’m in a stable situation, I’m gonna start making soap. I wanna start doing more out in the community. I paint a little bit, and I wanted to sell some paintings. I just wanna put a smile on people’s faces, so if I can find a way to do that, then you know, everything will work out. I think that you know, if you give a little, you get a little, and I just wanna give somebody a smile.

At one point in my life I guess, I was involved in a lot of materialistic things, as my life process has gone on, I gave most all that stuff away. I travel with a bag, it's about 12x12, and I can fit three days worth of clothes in it. And that's all I need, I mean I try to stay dry from rain and the weather, but it really doesn't matter. I feel like all of that stuff just doesn't matter, because having it doesn't build on your legacy. Your legacy is not about the material things that you have, it's more about what you've given to the world. And if I have not given anything, then I’m really not leaving anything behind. So I need to get out there and start giving.