JOSH

PHOTO BY RANDY BACON

JOSH’S STORY

I’m not happy about being on medication, but at least I know I need help. Every time I’ve went and checked in to the hospital it’s been voluntary. When I was young, my house burned down and my grandpa got my dad a job in another town. From there, I’ve lived everywhere around here, until we moved to the lake. That’s when my life took a dramatic turn for the worst. I started using Methamphetamines for the last five or six years. I got home from the treatment center on a Tuesday afternoon, and I’m twenty six days clean now. I’ve had temptation, but I stay away from it. All my friends respect me, and they keep it away from me.

On the streets, my name is Fox. I’ve been homeless for about three years now. It’s rough definitely when it gets cold. It’s nice just having people who care. I went to the hospital one night, my hand was all swollen, and I went to get it checked out. There was a couple who handed me $15 just ‘cause. It surprised me, ya know. There are still people who care. I’m glad to know it.

I want people to know that we all have adversity out here. They need to not put us down for the things we’ve been through. You know, some of us have been through things that we’re not proud of, but most of the times we do it to survive. You know, I’ve done some things that I’m not proud of, and I don’t want to be judged for it. I don’t want none of my friends to feel ashamed for the things they’ve had to do. The main thing is most of them need to get off drugs, so they don’t kill themselves. I just about did myself in with the drugs. That and my daughter, is why I went in to treatment. I can’t wait to be there for my first child. I was thirty-three when she was born. I haven’t held her at all. I can’t wait. I’m going to have a long road. The mother’s going to fight with me, but I’m going to do everything in my power to make it better.

I deal with being homeless like I’ve done my life - one day at a time. You can always prepare for the next day, but you never know what the next day’s going to bring. I mean, it could snow tomorrow twenty feet, and not do any good for the preparations you made the day before. That’s the biggest thing I’ve done being out here. Just one day at a time. Definitely now with my sobriety, I’ve got to take it one day at a time. I need to be in support groups to help out. And I might be off the streets before you know it! I’m willing to help some of my friends who are willing to help themselves. They’ve got to help themselves first. I can’t help them unless they’re willing to change.

Being clean and sober twenty day...I didn’t think I’d make it that long. I actually walked out the second day, and I about froze to death that night. I had to walk all night just to stay warm. I wound up losing both toenails on my big toes to the cold. It was worth it because I learned something…I can do anything. What I’ve learned from being homeless, is that instead of throwing things away that are good, donate them. I’ve seen brand new clothes thrown away. Donate it, and somebody else can use it. We’re wasteful. Why do we think our ozone layer is being depleted? The economy sucks. We throw everything away. It’s stupid.

To start out with, my dream is to be in my daughter’s life. And other than that I’d like to have a house or apartment. I don’t necessarily have to have a car because I’ve got my longboard to keep me occupied. I would like to upgrade it eventually. I already have an individual picked out to give it to. Every board I’ve had I’ve done that. Let them ride it ‘til it’s no good no more. Don’t waste it. I’m going to fix that one up. My fondest memories are canoeing with my family... we would go every summer. Also, going to car shows with my dad, antique stores, running around having fun. We’d get on bikes and 4-wheelers and go Baha-ing through the woods and go fishing, hunting. I’ve done a lot of that with my grandpa. It’s fun. All I can say is that life is going to give you challenges every day. You just have to overcome adversity and get through them.