DONNIE

PHOTO BY RANDY BACON

DONNIE’S STORY

I grew up in Texas, surrounded by a lot of drugs and in a lot of broken homes. I was basically on the streets at age thirteen. I made my way up here years ago to get away from what I was doing – at the time I was still heavy on meth and steroids. And I got off of them. I was still a very angry individual, though. I started going down to The Gathering Tree (drop-in center for the homeless) when it first opened and I noticed that they needed someone there to help stop the violence. I’ve done that for about four years now and I’m on the board of directors for The Gathering Tree. They say I’ve helped them out tremendously, but it’s helped me out a lot more than I’ve helped them.

I used to be a very violent, vile individual. At one point I just sat back and tried to think, “Why am I this way?” And I still ain’t figured it out. I was just very angry at the world. And I was going to take everything out on it. Folks at The Gathering Tree showed me that through helping other people, I’ve helped myself even more… because I learned an inner peace. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s calming at the end of the day.

I’m in control of security and “mood control” at The Gathering Tree, which means that through non-violent actions we deter and diffuse situations. They’ve created a space and an environment there where people can come in and rest. And when I say rest, I don’t just mean go to sleep. I mean rest completely because they know I’m going to be there and I ain’t going to let nothing happen. While I’ve been there, there has never been a volunteer harmed or in danger of being harmed. And I’m pretty proud of that. I’m usually there unless I have my son. He’s two years old. He has a wonderful mom. We’re not together. It was a party and things happened. But we have a really good friendship and I get to see him every other weekend.

I might not have had the best life in the world, and I may not have been the best person in the world. But every day I make up for the things I’ve done wrong. It’s probably going to take me until I die to complete my task, but I’m not going to stop. I’ve been a drug addict and I’ve been a fighter all my life. And now, I don’t do drugs and I don’t do alcohol. I don’t do the violence that I used to. And somehow I’m better. I don’t understand it. I’m not better than anyone else out there. But as long as I’m standing, I’m an example for those that are still trying to get out of the gutter. And the gutter can be a very warm place. You might not think so, but it gets very comfortable, when you get into that sort of lifestyle. You get comfortable at it. And that’s when you get stuck, when you stay there for three or four years. I was homeless for about four or five years, before my son was ever born.

I’m not homeless now. I’ve got an apartment and I’m doing good. I mean, I’m doing terrific. I had to take a break from work because of my schizophrenia and a couple other mental disorders that were preventing me from moving forward. But I got help and they’re getting me on medications that are starting to level me out. I found out that I have Type 2 Diabetes now, and a couple other health problems that will probably take a little longer to fix. But I’m doing great now. I’m in the best place I’ve been in my life. I’m at peace with myself and I’m no longer making war with the walls.

In loving memory of Donnie Wagoner, Jr. who passed away unexpectedly at the age of forty-one.