MIKE
PHOTO BY RANDY BACON
MIKE’S STORY
I was nineteen, had a job. Started getting ill, got in a little trouble. Moved in with my sister for a couple months and then I came out to Missouri for my mom's funeral. That’s when I started getting real sick. My brother was happy to see me after twenty years and he had no family left either, so he said I could stay with him, and try to get my disability. I stayed with him for eighteen months, got my disability, bought another truck, put a camper on it, and fixed it all up. Two weeks later, I was driving when a diesel truck hit the truck from behind. It totalled my truck and shortly after that, I moved out. Then I found myself without a house, I had my money and clothes and some other stuff, but didn't have nowhere to sleep.
Been homeless now for about three months. It’s been hard trying to go without cigarettes but it costs too much and I gotta save every penny now. The hardest thing is actually just being alone, thats the big thing. I feel judged a lot, you know humans tend to do that. But really I don’t care, because I know who I am, I know I'm not a drug addict, I know I don’t drink alcohol, I try to stay clean, decent looking. I know who I am and that’s all that matters, and if somebody wants to get to know me then they can make their own judgment.
I think of my mom when I think of the word love. I was taught to treat others like you want to be treated, so that’s what I try to do. You know, there’s all these churches I’m told I can go to eat and stuff, and people always ask me why I don’t go there. I’ll go hungry first, ‘cause I can’t go to a place that says they’re Christian when they tell you that you gotta listen to them before they feed us. It seems like a sales technique, not honest feeding for people that need it. I’m not about that.
I thought I’d be living my dream already. Before I got in trouble I was doing alright. At this age I thought my dream was to be in a recliner in my boxers watching tv, just livin’. Not surviving, just livin’. Have enough money for your food you know, and your wife. I never been married, I don’t have kids, my dream was just to be relaxing by now. Because now I know I don't got that much time. Before something goes wrong, I’ve already had two operations on my throat, if the vein ever pops or my Diabetes is gonna kill me. They wanna put me on all kinds of liver stuff, I won't let ‘em. I just figure you know, if it’s time, it’s time. I’ll just take a plane down to Mexico and sit on the beach and let it go. Just live life to the fullest, don't give up, don’t let people change the way you are, just do what you want. Cause you don’t know when you’re gonna drop dead, just try to do the best you can and treat people good. If you treat people good it will come back. I am a big believer in karma. That's pretty much it .
(In memory of Michael Smith who died from wounds received from a beating. Mike was sleeping outside near a Springfield, Missouri homeless shelter early in the morning of May 18, 2018, when police say a man Smith knew approached and repeatedly beat him with what appeared to be a metal pipe. Court documents say that when Smith woke up from the beating, his possessions were gone and his arm was broken. After an investigation, it was found that the attacker beat Michael because Michael tried to start a relationship with his girlfriend. According to a police spokeswoman, Smith caught an infection while recovering that led to his death on July 21. The attacker was convicted of assault in the 1st degree, armed criminal action, and misdemeanor stealing in January 2019.)