RALPH
PHOTO BY RANDY BACON
RALPH
“This is My Story”
I grew up on the Navajo reservation in Arizona. As a child on the reservation, the depravity was rampant. Alcoholism was present in my immediate family. My grandparents were alcoholics. My mother was an alcoholic. My aunts and uncles were alcoholics. I can remember early on that alcohol was destroying our families. I had seen a few aunts, uncles, and cousins die as a result of alcohol. I can also remember the times when I was a kid thinking that nothing good came from alcohol. It was destroying my family and contributing to our broken home.
I grew up vowing at a young age that I would never ever touch alcohol because of the destruction it caused. In school, I was a straight A student. I received honor roll awards and many certificates for good behavior, model citizen, outstanding character, etc. However, I was a troubled kid at home. I started becoming aggressive and acting out. As time progressed into my teenage years, I attended my first high school party. It was there that I had my first drink at age 14. I can remember the comfort and feeling that alcohol gave me that night. I felt free and at peace. After that night, regular partying on the weekends became the norm. I became further out of control.
Finally, at age 18, after years of juvenile delinquency, I found myself locked up in prison after committing a serious crime. It was here that the Lord found me, got my attention, stopped me in my tracks, and saved me. I got sober, continued to follow the Lord, and eventually got a college education. I met and married my beautiful wife, Christina, and we started a family. Tragedy struck in January 2013. After 8 years of dealing with kidney failure and prolonging death through dialysis, my mother passed away. I thought I had to be the strong one. I thought I had to keep it together for my family. I didn’t grieve properly. I didn’t get help. About a month later, I turned to alcohol for one night. I had a relapse. After years of abstinence, I returned to the comfort of alcohol. I thought I had mastered it. I thought I had control over it. I thought I would never ever do it again. However, life got harder and harder.
My marriage took a hit in August 2013. My wife and I separated. It was during this time that my drinking started getting out of control all over again. I returned to regular partying on the weekends. I stopped going to church. I was back on a fast path of self-destruction. My behavior continued and progressed from slips to full out weekend binges. I told myself that I was not an alcoholic because I had a job, a family, a car, money, paid my bills, and a house. After trying to get sober, in and out of treatment and AA, I finally hit rock bottom. I was kicked out of my house. My wife filed for divorce. I lost my house. I lost my car. I lost my job. And I lost my family for the second time. I finally surrendered. I got serious. I found recovery. I found sobriety.
I had to face my denial and start owning my story. I had to admit my lack of control and my complete powerlessness over alcohol. My sobriety date is August 4, 2017. This all due to the transforming work of God and my recovery support network. Today, I am very active in my local church. My marriage has been restored. I got my family back. My wife dropped the divorce, and we just celebrated fourteen years of marriage. I am also very active in the recovery community. Life is hard. We have hurts, habits, and hang-ups that can control us, but there is freedom in surrender. This is my story. It’s amazing what God has done. I know that if God can do this for my family and I then I know He can do it for anyone.