Julie "By My Side"
Let me tell you a story about my daughter, Samantha Jade Huntley. My sweet baby girl passed away at age 20, 3 days before her 21st birthday.
Samantha was a straight A student, loved gymnastics and cheerleading; bubbly, social, sweet, genuine, happy, intelligent girl. I could go on and on. People loved her. She had a golden heart and would give anyone the shirt off her back kinda girl.
Samantha started gymnastics at a young age, and went to do cheerleading as well. She was in a Competitive Team and also did cheer for school up into High School until her Junior year. Sam was 16 years old when she had a car wreck and fractured her spine in 3 spots. She was very fortunate to come out of this wreck alive, as the car flipped 3-4 times on a windy road. Samantha was driving to school and had forgotten her phone to call me to tell me she was running late. She looked down at the clock and looked back up to see a bus. Sam over corrected the car and flipped off the side of the road. Luckily the bus driver saw what had happened and called 911. When the officer who arrived on scene called me all she could tell me was that Sam was coherent. I was flipping out, not knowing anything else! I rushed to the hospital to see her on a gurney with her neck in a brace and she was so upset and crying uncontrollably. I was trying to stay calm and keep her calm. The officer came in and asked us questions, and then the doctor came in and advised us that she had the 3 fractured spots in her spine and WAS very lucky. I received pictures of the car, and it was laying on it's top. Samantha crawled out of the car's window on the passenger side with a broken back.
The doctors gave Samantha a prescription for pain pills. I was not told about how addictive they were just that they would help her pain. Of course, as her mother I just wanted her pain to ease as I could not imagine how bad it truly was. I also knew nothing about addiction, and I am sure Samantha didn't either. Sam never liked to take pills or anything when she was sick but she was in horrific pain so she did take these pills. We had no idea where this was leading.
A couple months went by and she was still having major pain. She obviously couldn't go to school or carry her backpack or any books. The pain pills were refilled and we went on. When Samantha went back to school, girls started making her because someone had to carry her things, and because she had to wear a back brace. More bullying came, and she was not able to go back to what she loved and had been a part of her whole life, Cheerleading. She lost all of her Cheer friends and she was left alone to find new friends. In the meantime Samantha's pain pills and prescription ran out. Her new "friends" would lead her to taking all kinds of different pills for the pain. Unfortunately, Samanthat kept on with the pills as she thought they would help the pain, as they did.
The summer after Samantha graduated, she came to me and said, "Mom...I am addicted to heroin and I don't know what to do. I can't stop or I get super sick. I don't want to do this anymore Mom." So, as I sat for a couple minutes with a million thoughts rolling through my mind, I said "ok, we will get help and get through this together."
The hunt for answers began. We went to an addiction center, all the while she was in full withdrawals. If you have never seen someone in withdrawals, I can tell you it's beyond what you can imagine or ever want to see your child go through. The secretary told us we had to make an appointment for a week out. I panicked. What the heck were we supposed to do for the next week? We had tried everything and NOTHING helped. I couldn't just let her use drugs until we could get into an appointment. Fortunately a doctor overheard my desperation and was able to get us in that afternoon. After this, it wasn't so smooth. We tried medicine to keep her sober and control her cravings. We tried inpatient facilities, as well as outpatient facilities...nothing was long enough to get her the help she really needed. Insurance would tell us that after 30 days inpatient care was not covered anymore. I fought insurance while watching her self-destruct. I was so scared she would die. We kept trying, everything.
Samantha went to inpatient treatment for the last time in july 2017. It seemed she had really had a change, a big turn around. I flew her home, and we were planning to take her to Texas to an outpatient facility where she could start her life over, with family close. She was only home for 5 days. On day 1, I picked her up from the airport and we had an amazing day together. She visited with her grandparents, her cousins, and her uncle. We went to a baseball game and had another wonderful time.
She decided to go see a "sober" friend and hang with her for a while. I had my doubts and was super scared, but she is 20, she will run if she wants, one way or the other. The "friend" left Samantha with a drug dealer. That night Samantha came home and it was the last time I would see her alive. In her phone, I read messages that she was going to Texas for Treatment and that she would use just one more time. She had told someone, "I am not gonna die! " We went to bed after spending some time together. She seemed so free and happy this visit, and nothing was on her shoulders. She said she found God and was at Peace with everything.
At 4:30 am, Sunday September 3rd, 2017, I sat straight up in bed and went to Samantha's room. The door was locked and so I shoved it open. She was lying there face down, with her legs crossed and I knew. I sat her up, and she was gone.
I cannot even express my pain. But the pain and fighting Samantha had to go through and endure during her addiction just amazes me. She didn't know how strong she was. Fighting for your life every second of every day has got to be exhausting. Her pain is now gone, and she lives on, through me. She is by my side every minute of every day.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction call SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357
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