Melissa "Kindness is Pure Magic"
Photo by Randy Bacon
Shakespeare said something to the effect of "the meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose is to give it away." My current purpose is to build a community driven business where we learn to mingle in a 50/50 ratio of typically developing and differing abled persons- this is my vision for The Hive Eatery. The last few of my 25 years working as a school counselor at Willard, a dream started swirling about in my mind and it has become a goal that I am fueling by building relationships within the community.
I have been fortunate to be a school counselor at a great school. Even in a great school, there is still a stigma of "not cool enough" surrounding people who are different, developmentally disabled, wheelchair users, etc. We have all witnessed it, lived it. You know, we learn to not only value ourselves, but value others based on how others treat us. As a counselor, there were so many times where a student would take a peer with differing abilities and treat them so kindly; it was as warm as basking in the sun to watch. It is pure magic because this acceptance can only be witnessed...and it seems very hard to teach. I feel that with the right atmosphere, these relationships can be fostered.
I remember as a middle school counselor on lunch duty one day in a packed cafeteria, this kid who walked with an uneven gait dropped his tray walking down the middle aisle trying to look for a seat. A popular football player got up from his lunch, went over to him & got down and simply started picking up the contents of the guy's tray with his hands. The cafeteria got silent, just watching. Scenes like this..they can't be taught from a video or a lecture and the result is an impact that remains in all of our minds.
There was a non-verbal girl, no communication at all except for smiling. For the 2 years students were in my building, I watched another student spend time with this girl who could not expressively communicate. This student treated her as if she understood everything going on, and maybe she sensed she did. Maybe someday she is going to answer us all back! This typically developing peer asked to go to the special class where she was and take her out to recess with the "normal" class and read to her, brought her a birthday party hat, and all the while, other kids would silently watch all of this and learn that it's ok to talk with someone non-verbal, even if they don't answer back.
Another young man was a favorite of a couple of boys in a "regular" class. When that boy didn't show up for Monday counseling or lunch on time, they would go get him. When it was time for outside lunch, they made sure he could come out too. Other peers were always watching this inclusion...and I wish this behavior wasn’t unusual...but we all know it is.
Before my counseling job, I was fortunate to work as a HS FACS teacher. At my school, I believe I had every kid on an IEP (Individualized Education Program) in my foods class. This was my intro to persons with differing abilities. There was this one kid who tried so hard. At this time in education, if a kid was on an IEP, their grade was L for limited. So for example in Math, if they got a B, the paper grade card would say L B. Limited meant they didn't do the same work as everybody else. This kid wanted one of his grades to not include the L. He was tired of it and talked about it and so I asked if he wanted to get the same grade as everybody else. He worked so hard. The kids in his food lab group helped and cheered and coached and supported. When it was time to do a stand up oral presentation, this kid did it. He spent so much time hand writing his notes. Even though this moment was 30 years ago, I can remember his presentation, the class listening, the clapping, and this kid smiling. Even better, when the paper grade cards arrived, I remember him holding his card up and saying, “Look, I got a regular grade!”
I was going to retire from teaching & counseling in 2023. I was never going to do anything else but education because I have truly loved it. In 2017, the idea about The Hive started growing from a dream to a goal. But I guess it really started back in that HS class 30 years ago, when I witnessed this kid just wanting a regular grade and the effort that he put into it and the other kids in his lab teaching him and the sense of accomplishment they all felt holding up that grade card.
For years I have watched a kind of magic happen when a typically developing person includes a kid with differing abilities. This warm-as-sun-feeling is what I want to foster at The Hive. This daily re-creation of magic between differing abilities. We do a tremendous disservice to all of our human race when we don't include all abilities. How are our future nurses, police officers, teachers, check out people, public workers, etc going to learn how to hear, interact, and help out and do their job if we don't work together when we're 15 and 18?
Melissa opened The Hive Eatery, located in Willard Missouri with the mission to provide opportunities to persons with disabilities by learning all roles of working in a hospitality business along with improving relational skills to network within the community.
For more information visit https://www.hiveoftheozarks.com
As an ongoing nonprofit movement, the ability for us to change the world through people and their stories is determined by the love and support of compassionate people, like you. The photography, films, website, written stories, exhibitions, community events and all other aspects of 8 Billion Ones are made possible by the generous financial support of the "ones", like you. Please consider a tax-deductible gift today to help us continue sharing important, life-changing stories of people - just like you.